To be needed

On the complex desire to be needed and the search for self-worth.

And deep within the craving to be needed
Not admired by many, nor loved greatly
To be wanted holds a fragile sweetness seeded
But to be needed—that’s magic indeed


To be a bedrock in someone’s shifting sphere
Someone, bright, kind, warm innately
A soul that others hold in reverence clear
Someone that leans on me, my blood they bleed


Like sunlight sought for warming skin,
Like soapy tubs where shadows drown.
By swirling blue, I wait, toe-in
Clear depths turn dull with their torment


Holding the towel, an embrace tight
Let them feel safe, an old nightgown 
Melting their sorrow, natural light
Burning bright, my fuel is spent


Mine, the hand that scrubs the bathroom.
Is such devotion all a gilded deceit?
Someone could, through you consume
Breathe through your lips, steal your humanity


Then shift their aim,
Seek an organ more elite
A trophy played, their proudest claim,
Me, a forgotten trinket to their vanity


Is it fair, this burden I must face?
Does borrowed joy a genuine worth impart?
The only need that holds a lasting grace
Is the small girl I was in my heart
Her steady gaze sets forth a hopeful pace
For her I'll live, and play a truer part.

_______________________________________

This poem was inspired by the words of Pearl Ada in this video, specifically “You are supposed to be loved in your being, not in your performance”. A truly amazing watch:

Please, if you feel comfortable sharing, what are your own experiences with the desire to be needed? Have you ever felt the weight of someone else's reliance? or perhaps you want to discuss the importance of validating and honouring the needs of our past selves? I'd love to hear your thoughts.